THE BUDDHIST CARER

Bloods tests been done to rule out an infection. If only it was.

Letting people down, or looking after me? Need to say "no" more! That dreaded list of things I said I'd happily do is more like a noose....

I'm back at work now. It's a way to use my brain And forget the rest.

I've just heard some news. The worst you can imagine. How that mother mourns.

Not sustainable Waiting hand and foot on him. Conserve energy!

Foggy and freezing, A stay-at-home kind of day. Who wants a hot tea?

Off the scale confused, dehydrated, exhausted. Whose respite was that?

Missing out on things professionally just sucks! It seems so unfair.

He comes home today from a week in a care home. Is that home from home?

Phone call, oh - a fall? I'm caring at a distance. What do I do now?

I saw a swan fly. Not sure I've seen that before. Seeing, noticing.

The weight of caring. Onus. Burden. Heaviness. It's lifted. For now.

I tend to observe or narrate my experience through the lens of mind. Breathing in, making contact with all the senses, breathing out....

So, do I miss him While he's away in respite? My answer is ... no. I think about him. I wonder what he's doing. But I don't miss him. I...

The nature of mind, pure awareness. Then I hear: "We're out of loo roll!"

What do people do With all the time that they've got? Well, I'm Just Sitting. I'm on a retreat. There's nothing I need to do. So, I'm...

Nothing much to say An underlying sense of Apathy. That's all.

Hätt' ich Int'resse Nach München zu kommen? Ja klar... aber im Ernst? Online wäre leicht(er). Nun, wo ist mein Reisepass? Oder ... Nein...

When friends say 'come visit' Or 'hope to connect with you soon.' Not sure they get it.

Sitting next to him Shaking on the new sofa. Feel a bit seasick.