THE BUDDHIST CARER

He is my husband. We’re officially married. Doesn’t feel that way. Haven’t worn rings They’re lost or no longer fit Says it all really.

I am so rubbish At making mashed potato Lumps, lumps - lazy cook!

How’s John? they ask Not really wanting to know. Do I tell the truth? Still, better to ask Despite not wanting to hear The hard-to-hear...

Thistle-y in Mistley Men by trees in Manningtree Towers towering. Mud flats, stranded boats Feeding time for geese and swans A simple day...

Can a language learned Be completely forgotten If it’s in your heart? Decades and decades Of superficial usage Yet there it still is....

Three weeks of illness Then two weeks of annual leave Work, a distant thought Some trepidation Thoughts of catching up, deadlines No real...

Der letzte Montag Im August ist Feiertag Was gibt’s zum feiern? Als „unpaid carer“ Jeder Tag gleicht dem anderen Kein Feierabend.

He’s reminiscing On the phone, with his dear friend Laughing and joking. Strong voice, erudite Parkinson’s briefly on hold Completely...

Hyper vigilance Carer’s default position Draining, exhausting.

Fear of missing out? No, it’s my reality Having to say no Having to withdraw Missed opportunities and Ladder rungs not climbed. Chapters,...

Just leave your shoes on Exactly the opposite He takes his shoes off. Use the chair’s remote Exactly the opposite He tries to stand up....

Not a blotch in sight Immune system playing ball Phew, what a relief.

A happy birthday To my kind and gentle man Who asks for nowt and Expects so little. Moved by generosity Feeling so grateful. The tears in...

I know my body That little itch, the swelling Blotches on the way? Not an allergy I’ve been told over the years: An immune response....

And so week two starts. A second week of illness And feeling rotten. Thinking I can … then Realising that I can’t. Just so exhausted.

Decision-making In fact, any kind of act Is just all too much. Each little effort Drains me, tires me, exhausts me In body and mind. Not...

Fed up feeling ill Lethargic, no oomph at all Sneezing and coughing.

My brother’s birthday Three days and three years older Turns sixty today. No contact for years Not close, no real connection Does it...

Local charity Cheap cake and a cup of tea Moment of respite.

Feel, see through my eyes And “walk a day in my shoes” How apt that phrase is! If you know, you know You can relate, understand, With...